For the longest time, when I'd wake up...well, there they'd be.

Ms. Cuddles on my right. Cali on my left. Or vice versa.

Two furry bookends keeping their human appropriately contained.

It was one of those little things that I didn't really think much about because, well...it was just our routine.

Until it wasn't.

Lately, things have changed. If I'm hanging out with Ms. Cuddles and Cali jumps up beside us, Cuddles gets up and leaves.

Not dramatically. No aggression at all--no hissing, swatting or great feline showdown.

She just... leaves.

Then, after Cali has been there for a few minutes, Cuddles eventually comes back.

And if I'm with Cali and Cuddles arrives?

Sometimes it's Cali who decides she'd rather be somewhere else.

It's almost as if my two cats have quietly established a one-cat-at-a-time policy.

And naturally, I started wondering: What happened to my little happy family?

Cats Don't Always Argue When They're Having a Problem

It bugged me, so I did a little digging, and here is where things get interesting.

When we think about cats not getting along, we tend to imagine the obvious stuff. (And I've seen plenty of this because Toku did NOT like being around other animals) There would be: Hissing...Growling...Swatting...even Chasing as two cats turned the living room into a WWE arena.

But feline behavior experts point out that tension between household cats can be much more subtle, which is obviously what I'm dealing with here.

Avoidance, prolonged staring, blocking access to resources, hiding, or simply choosing to stay away from another cat can all be signs that something has changed. 

And that's what caught my attention with Cali and Cuddles.

They're not fighting. No. They're not what I would call enemies. They're simply... not choosing to share space the way they used to.

So, What Happened?

That's the million-dollar question, right! And the frustrating answer is:

It could be any number of things.

Cats are incredibly sensitive to their surroundings. So, a new smell...a change in furniture...a different routine...an unfamiliar animal outside or any change in the household for that matter, not to mention a stressful event.

All of these can potentially affect how cats perceive their environment and one another. The feline environmental guidelines emphasize that cats need familiar, predictable surroundings and that changes in the physical or social environment can contribute to stress. 

And sometimes, there isn't an obvious "Aha!" moment.

That's one of the things that makes cats so fascinating(—and, true, occasionally maddening). 

We see the behavior.

They know the reason.

They're just not particularly interested in explaining it to us.

Maybe It's About Space

One possibility is simply that the two girls have become a little more particular about their personal space.

Cats don't necessarily need to be physically close to another cat to have a perfectly good relationship.

In fact, cats that live together can have different preferences for sleeping and resting locations. Current feline guidance recommends providing multiple, separate resting places and other key resources so cats don't have to compete for access.

I can certainly put a checkmark in that box, because I find both lil boogers sleeping in multiple locales in our home.

But indeed, both could becoming more discerning about their personal space. 

Maybe the problem isn't:

"I don't like Cali."

Maybe it's:

"I don't want Cali sitting next to me right now."

There's a difference.

The Human Is Sometimes the Resource

And then there's another possibility that makes me laugh.

Maybe... I'm the resource.

Cats can compete for access to things they value, including resting areas and human attention. I've certainly seen enough evidence in this household to believe that both Cali and Cuddles consider me part of their respective property portfolios.

Cali has her lap.

Cuddles has her late-night routine.

And apparently, neither has agreed to a formal power-sharing arrangement.

So when one jumps up beside me, perhaps the other is simply deciding:

"You know what? I don't feel like negotiating tonight."

And off she goes.

What Can We Do?

Well, from what I've read, the first thing is probably the simplest: Don't force it.

If one cat leaves when the other arrives, let her. Don't pick her up and put her back. Don't force them to share the same spot. Don't punish either cat, certainly.

And don't turn a little bit of feline awkwardness into a much bigger event.

Instead, give each cat options: 

• Multiple comfortable resting spots.
• Separate access to food and water.
• Safe places to retreat.
• Vertical spaces.
• Playtime.

And, importantly, positive individual attention. These are all recommendations reflected in current multi-cat household guidance.

If they want to be together?

Awesome.

If they want a little space?

That's okay, too.

The goal isn't necessarily to make two cats become inseparable.

It's to make sure both cats feel comfortable and secure in the same home.

And I'm Watching

That's probably where I am with Cali and Cuddles right now.

I'm watching. I'm paying attention to when one leaves. I'm noticing where they choose to sleep. I'm watching their interactions. And I'm looking for any other changes that might give me a clue.

Because they've been together long enough that I know what "normal" looks like.

And this... is different.

That doesn't necessarily mean something terrible is happening.

But it does mean something is happening.

And that's worth paying attention to.

Especially because cats are very good at hiding discomfort, and behavior can sometimes be one of the earliest clues that something isn't quite right. If the change persists or comes with other behavioral or physical changes, a veterinary check makes sense--again, my eyes are open.

For now, though, I'm hoping my two furry bookends are simply negotiating a little new territory.

Maybe Cali wants the left side.

Maybe Cuddles wants the right.

Maybe they're both trying to figure out who gets the human.

Or maybe... they're just cats.

And sometimes the answer to "Why is my cat doing that?" is the most cat-like answer imaginable:

Because she's a cat.